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Can I Help?  I Can't help.

6/6/2014

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I often think the helping professions could stand to use referrals more often.
It would go something like this:  "I don't think I can help you, let me suggest a ____________ to help you with your situation."
or
"This is outside the scope of my studies and experience.  Can I refer you to a ________________."

Entry level cojones are required to hear those words come from your mouth and to not waste your client's time.

If I suspect your body is ravaged by inflammation, I will not pray away your inflammation with you.  I have the sense to ask if you had blood work done and are you treating that with your doctor.  I may even ask for insight:  "If I may ask, how are you and your doctor approaching it?"
[See how I just got some free education in that interaction?  They paid for a doctor visit, and I asked them about an educated interaction--this gives me resources for further study.]

I will not "heal" your low testosterone levels--I'll suggest you work with a nutritionist or some such professional--I won't perform a testosterone ceremony for the raising of all your T-levels.  Good grief.

Know your limits.

Professionals need help too.


Now it gets personal.


There are those that will expend the energy to refuse good help.  "Take the help;" a teacher of mine famously punctuates her workshop introductions with this.  That may mean, take the good-heartedness of the interaction, take the lovingness, take the well-meaning intent and make use out of it--practice recognizing, opening up to, and receiving the good.  It would be a shame for good hands, good intent to go to "waste" on someone fortifying their reluctance.  
In fact, from the giving side of it, I can say, it feels downright crappy.  When a receiver "shows you the hand,"  I feel saddened.  
"Really," I want to say, "I cannot help you?  ...at all?"
"Truly?  There's nothing here that can be beneficial?"
I'm sure I'll be remarking a lot more on giving/receiving...
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    Gwen

    Incubating practice and teaching ideas in written form here.

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