The experience that you're trying to recreate is not the experience we're here to have.
The perfectionist can pause, the perfectionist can slow down, the perfectionist can relax.
Rather than recreate what you think the experience should be like, have the experience that's here.

Currently reviewing literature on Ukemi.


Uke + mi roughly translates as "receiving body" or "receiving self."

A student generally is prepared to be on receiving end of a throw before learning to throw.

How does one receive the intent?
Can one fall safely?  Does one injure him/herself?
Does one "take it personally" or take it into their person?
How skillfully does one work with and redirect the energy?

currently reading Path Notes of an American Ninja Master by Glenn Morris
Some standout selections:


"Since people do not generally regard wisdom, truth, or creativity as central to an intimate relationship or the mastery of self, they seek out relationships based primarily on biochemical reaction, companionship, or mutual self-interest.  The same can be said for the selection of a martial art teacher.  A true martial artist is concerned with saving your life [my emphasis].  A master would also like for you to have one that is worth living, full of passion and excitement as you develop your deepest resources and finest qualities.  ...This is not an abstract concept but a growing recognition that a teacher is real when actions are based not just on knowledge but the explicit presentation of one's own being through the personal experience of knowing.  Knowing is doing.  You must observe carefully."

"All of my students have confirmed for me how much more fun it is to teach smart people regardless of their physical skills.  ...You would give your left nut to teach a real genius, it's so much fun.  ...the study of unarmed combat is considered in the province of gentlemen.  In a democratic, business oriented society, it is too often limited to disciplining children, entertaining adults, or being studied by thugs.  It is a lengthy, painful growth process to learn the real thing as the levels of risk and your avoidance skills expand.  Neither raw intellect nor great physical skill compare well to the lessons of endurance."

"The Lord loveth an upright man" is a true statement...

I often think the helping professions could stand to use referrals more often.
It would go something like this:  "I don't think I can help you, let me suggest a ____________ to help you with your situation."
or
"This is outside the scope of my studies and experience.  Can I refer you to a ________________."

Entry level cojones are required to hear those words come from your mouth and to not waste your client's time.

If I suspect your body is ravaged by inflammation, I will not pray away your inflammation with you.  I have the sense to ask if you had blood work done and are you treating that with your doctor.  I may even ask for insight:  "If I may ask, how are you and your doctor approaching it?"
[See how I just got some free education in that interaction?  They paid for a doctor visit, and I asked them about an educated interaction--this gives me resources for further study.]

I will not "heal" your low testosterone levels--I'll suggest you work with a nutritionist or some such professional--I won't perform a testosterone ceremony for the raising of all your T-levels.  Good grief.

Know your limits.

Professionals need help too.


Now it gets personal.


There are those that will expend the energy to refuse good help.  "Take the help;" a teacher of mine famously punctuates her workshop introductions with this.  That may mean, take the good-heartedness of the interaction, take the lovingness, take the well-meaning intent and make use out of it--practice recognizing, opening up to, and receiving the good.  It would be a shame for good hands, good intent to go to "waste" on someone fortifying their reluctance.  
In fact, from the giving side of it, I can say, it feels downright crappy.  When a receiver "shows you the hand,"  I feel saddened.  
"Really," I want to say, "I cannot help you?  ...at all?"
"Truly?  There's nothing here that can be beneficial?"
I'm sure I'll be remarking a lot more on giving/receiving...

One thing I struggle with is 1. bad science and 2. bad logic.

Let's say you find a technique or an approach that works magic for you personally.
"It works for me," you say, "I can even find science to support it, so it must be true."
"So if I squeeze X, tilt Y, or take position Z, I'll get result A."  
You create a technique to confirm your view, which is based in [a] fact.

Your principle doesn't lie, but it also doesn't tell the whole truth.

So before you go branding and trademarking...

After the [confirming] test, what is the system better able to do?
After all the technique repetition, and verification, what's the end result?  [Besides self-confirmation]

In science, we call this confirmation bias.
In religion, we might call this fundamentalism.

I'm reminded by someone who grew up in rural America, "This sounds like [fundamentalist] Christianity.  People would pray a certain way, then build churches around this way of praying, because it worked for them, and then this belief, that using this way of praying was best, would would become pivotal in the belief system securing this church's operations."

Start with Belief B
Go straight for techniques X, Y, & Z [the ones you know will work]
Get confirmation A
[support with that fact]
Repeat until System [or Church] is built by many people using circular thinking and biased results.

Don't build a System or a Church out of your techniques.
This is not creativity.  It's bad science.

Extra Credit:  if you encounter this methodology in action, ask these people for the techniques and methods that did not work, the times when a hypothesis was disproved.  Are there such available examples?  

Currently rereading:  Help for the Helper:  Self-Care Strategies for Managing Burnout and Stress; The Psychophysiology of Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma, Babette Rothschild

I post this as supplemental reading for Forrest teacher trainees.  Babette Rothschild has an extraordinary list of accomplishments in the trauma and body psychotherapy domain.

This book speaks to the value and necessity of learning one's internal cues, and how that effects the therapeutic relationship.

Includes:
Countertransference
Somatic Empathy
Mirroring
Facial and Postural Awareness
Neurophysiology of Arousal